Jokes of the day.

I must take every precaution not to get pregnant," said Edna to Priscilla. 
"But I thought you said your hubby had a vasectomy," Priscilla responded. 
"He did. That's why I have to take every precaution."

Q:  What is your date of birth?
A:  July fifteenth.
Q:  What year?
A:  Every year.

An infamous stud with a long list of conquests walked into his neighborhood bar and ordered a drink. The bartender thought he looked worried and asked him if anything was wrong. "I'm scared out of my mind," the stud replied. "Some pissed-off husband wrote to me and said he'd kill me if I didn't stop kissing his wife." "So stop," the barkeep said. "I can't," the womanizer replied, taking a long swill. "The prick didn't sign his name!"